I want to preface this post by saying that this is my opinion and these are my convictions. I do not condemn or judge anyone that feels differently; we all have different convictions and we all have different ways to go about dating/courting,(I am not legalistic about the word so you can call it dating or courting whichever you prefer :)) I just wanted to share my take on courting, so here goes...
As far as the way relationships are handled I believe more in the concept of courting, than I do dating. I know, I know that word! Many people,(Christians as well as non Christians), are really intimidated and put off by that word. Courting gets a bad rep simply because of misconceptions. Many believe that the practice is too old fashioned and out dated to actually work in our new modern society; while others think that courting is just a nice way of saying you are entering into an arranged marriage. There are many variations of the way courting is practiced, so today I want to share my variation.
Firstly I believe in keeping myself pure until marriage,(I know that term sounds so stiff and hackneyed but it is true, just bear with me :)), so there is no physical contact between us that I wouldn't have with my brother. Which in simple terms is to say that I would hug him, but not hold his hand or put my arm around him, (now you don't have to necessarily use the example of not holding your brothers hand if you have a much younger brother because you probably do hold his hand, but my oldest brother is 12 years older than me so walking around holding his hand.. well you see what I mean, this exercise works better when you have an older brother lol :)) One thing this does is it helps us both to avoid temptation. "Flee from youthful passions, and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart." 2 Timothy 2:22 This scripture tells us to run from youthful passions, but instead we should pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace with someone(s) that also call on the name of the Lord with a pure heart. Abstaining from physical contact, helps us to flee from youthful passions and instead we can turn to God and see if He is leading us to marriage.
Having no emphasis on the physical while courting not only helps in keeping us pure, it also helps us to determine whether or not we are compatible without our minds being clouded. Not focusing on how attractive that person is, or how good of a kisser they are, instead we're focusing on whether or not we can glorify God together and whether or not we share the same beliefs (in terms of faith, children etc). The purpose of courting is not to just "have someone", the purpose is to determine if you are the right someone.
I want everything I do to give glory to my Father in heaven, this includes my relationships. Speaking specifically about relationships with a man, I want every phase of our relationship, (courting, engagement, marriage), to glorify God. All throughout the Bible God tells us to flee and avoid sexual immorality, which includes fornication or intimacy before marriage; what better way to avoid the temptation by not allowing it to come in, in the first place! I say why entertain any physical contact before marriage, theres nothing we can do about it now anyway!
I am in no way an expert at this,(after all I've never been in a real relationship), but this is my humble opinion and take on this touchy subject. I encourage you to pray and ask God to guide you in all of your relationships, especially ones with the opposite sex.
-Alexandra
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